When I first started this blog, I was high off of hearing MGK’s “Go For Broke” for the first time. I listened to it on repeat on a beautiful summer day, and it was the first time I had felt truly, blissfully happy since a global pandemic brought society to a screeching halt and kept us all at home, circling the drain of sanity. I spent months with my mind reeling, adjusting to the new world, coming to terms with my white privilege, and adjusting to living with my boyfriend months earlier than we had planned. I started this blog as a writing project, thinking it would get my creative juices flowing after years of stagnation while giving me something productive to do. Reviews for no reason morphed into a passion project from there, and I’ve frequently felt equal parts proud and mortified at the garbage rants I’ve been putting out here on the internet.
Then, a few weeks ago, something magical happened. I started watching Gilmore Girls again. I grew up on Gilmore Girls, I allowed that show to formulate most of my personality. It introduced me to some of my favorite bands (The Shins, The New Pornographers, The Bangles…though I will NEVER get down with U2). I watched so many movies because they were referenced in that show, namely Saturday Night Fever, which led to a John Travolta obsession that has spanned decades. I loved that show, I loved that Lorelai was high maintenance and owned it. I loved that Rori took books with her everywhere (something I was in the habit of doing, and continue to do as an adult. That’s right, I’m the one in the waiting room NOT on my phone…unless it’s the kindle app). I believe for a brief time when I was fifteen I convinced myself that I wanted to move to Connecticut. I was always Team Amy, I refused to watch Season 7 until the reboot was announced (for continuity’s sake). I was at my television the MOMENT the reboot dropped on Netflix, and when Winter opened with the black screen and the clips of dialogue I started sobbing uncontrollably. I’ve been too busy these last few years to rewatch the show, and as I had seen every episode (of seasons 1-5) countless times (in the triple digits) I was ok with taking a break for awhile.
Watching it again this last month has been like meeting an old friend (myself). I’m not sure if its the witty banter or if my antidepressants finally started working, but watching Gilmore Girls made me feel like myself again. Unfortunately, when I’m not watching Gilmore Girls, safely ensconced behind the keyboard, or hiding out in the woods somewhere, I’m still the same anxious and depressed mess I’ve been for the last year. Running errands is a nightmare because there is nothing on this earth more terrifying than a grocery store when I’m experiencing severe social anxiety. To combat this, I’ve been listening to podcasts in the grocery store. I’m that annoying person and I don’t even care, because the small annoyance someone may feel by having to go around me when I can’t hear them say “excuse me” is much better than the large annoyance of my terrified, sobbing form in the fetal position screaming “I DID MY BEST” in the pasta aisle. When I was cuing up my podcast playlist today, I was feeling strong. Feeling confident. Feeling like Lorelai Gilmore. So I put on my favorite podcast from 2014 and walked in to that Grocery Outlet with my head held high! I had a spring in my step and the Gilmore Guys in my ears.
Gilmore Guys has what some may refer to as “a rough start”. It’s two dudes, Kevin and Demi, and Kevin was a long time fan of the show with Demi being a pair of fresh eyes. They probably spend 60% of their recorded time talking about things that aren’t related to Gilmore Girls, but they’re 100% entertaining. As I’m cruising the isles, wondering if Grocery Outlet has the big jarsof paprika, I kept thinking that Gilmore Guys was the podcast version of this blog. There’s a vague premise, a topic that is kind of sort of discussed, but it’s a lot of extraneous information and quite a few side rants. When I got out of the store I checked my messages (I cannot text and grocery shop at the same time) and an old friend had sent me a text asking what’s new. (This friend prefers internet anonymity, so I’ll do a nameless shout out – hello friend! Thanks for reading!) I told them that I was working on this blog, and one word came to mind to describe it: Mumblecore.
I don’t even know how that word popped into my head. I have not spent any time contemplating Mumblecore, which I consider to be a somewhat obnoxious movie genre. I had to google the meaning of Mumblecore before I used it as a descriptor because I wasn’t sure I was using it right. Mumblecore is a broad term, one that’s disputed amongst the very filmmakers who coined the term. As a general rule, it’s a genre of indie film characterized by being visibly low budget with an emphasis on the dialogue and the prose of it all than it is about plot and entertainment. (If you’ve seen Nomadland, that’s in the same wheelhouse). As I spent the weekend ruminating over the idea of Mumblecore for no reason whatsoever, it occurred to me that the genre should expand, it shouldn’t only apply to movies…and possibly it should stop applying to movies altogether. (I mean, is it the way that any person prefers to experience a visual art form?)
Not only did Gilmore Guys launch Kevin and Demi’s careers, but their rambling made people like me feel safe to do our own. Ramble on, friends. Mumblecore for life.